I Almost Get Murdered by a Company of Serial Killers

Oh boy another one! Let's get right started.

I don't remember much of the beginning of the dream except that I was in another universe with a group of... I suppose "heroes" would be the appropriate word. Our group had two girls and two guys. I remember one of the girls had a gun. We were battling some sort of opposing force and when we won, we returned to what I can only assume is our own universe. It turns out that we were students at a local high school who spend their lunch periods fighting crime in alternate realities? Anyway, this albeit heroic side job had some negative consequences, one of which includes the teacher getting suspicious that we were always showing up to class late (we all had the same math teacher, apparently). Since the four of us didn't technically know each other in our own universe, the teacher began to question what we were doing in our free period (aRE THESE KIDS DOING MARIJUANA DRUGS???). We recently devised a plan to rotate who showed up late to class. I think we had to deposit our weapons in some special storage unit because the school would freak out if their students had pointy sticks and guns at school. This time it was the girls' turn to "be late to class", so when we reappeared in our universe the boys dashed upstairs as quickly as they could while I and the other girl (who I think was Clover) put away all our weapons.
On our way there we saw a man standing next to an alleyway with a box of kittens. This would look hella shady to the waking brain, but since I was asleep, Clover and I decided it was a great idea to go up to him and pet the kittens. He told us the names of the kittens. There were two black kittens that I found particularly interesting because they were phrases from the ending theme of the movie The Cat Returns. One of them was the beginning of a sentence and one was the end, but the portion in the middle was not assigned to a kitten. I asked the man if he also had a kitten named after the middle portion and he got really defensive, as if he were hiding something (DUN DUN DUNNNN). He angrily told us to leave and we were like

Okay buddy.
By then I felt like I needed to use the bathroom (this is becoming a recurring theme in my dreams lmao) and told Clover to go ahead to class while I looked for a bathroom.
I continued walking down the street (not the alleyway the guy was standing next to, the main street) until I got to an intersection. I turned right and passed a few more buildings that looked like college buildings. Then I came upon something strange.
This building looked like the entrance to a subway. Like a subway with trains, not the sandwich shop. There was a plastic overhang/arch thing to provide shade for people walking up the weirdly long set of stairs to the entrance of the building. A sign on the front of the archway said something along the lines of "I hate Amy" or something about threatening to kill that person. However the problem was that the person the sign was threatening to kill was me. Or rather, someone with my first name, which is actually pretty common. A bit creepy, yes, but there was a friendly guy standing at the entrance smiling and waving so it's all good fam. That guy must've been exceptionally friendly-looking because I decided that this would be the building to walk into for a bathroom. I mean, I knew that in this universe I wasn't known by my real name, so I shouldn't have any problems in this place. I think I also wanted to investigate what the frick frack was going on in here and why this person/company was allowed to so publicly declare their hatred and plans to murder this person.
So I walked up the steps, smiled at the person at the entrance, and asked to use their bathroom. Everything was going swimmingly until someone I knew from real life (not from the school I went to in my dream, my actual school) was like "Amy? What are you doing here?"
The person who was at the entrance (I assume he was an employee) immediately turned to regard me suspiciously. I glared at the person who revealed my identity and growled, "I'm not,,, Amy"
The person looked really apologetic and muttered a "sorry". The employee regained his composure and continued to lead us both into the building. I knew I couldn't leave now, because then they would definitely think I was Amy and want to kill me. I also knew that they were most likely not leading me to a bathroom. Before I had a chance to formulate a brilliant plan, we passed by a bathroom.
"Oh, hey!" I said, "Look at that! It's a bathroom! I'll just... go in here now."
I opened the door and discovered a really heckin bad bathroom.
Two stalls were missing doors, one was way too dimly lit to be logical, and one had what appeared to be a dead body, but upon further inspection was just an entire outfit dangling on the door, hat and boots included. This whole setup kind of creeped me out, but I didn't want to leave immediately. I wanted the people outside, who might just be waiting for me to finish, to believe that I actually used their facilities. There were some other people in the bathroom so I was unwilling to use the stalls missing doors. I had been in line for only a few seconds when another person came in. They told me that this organization was dedicated to killing anyone named Amy by forcing them to lie down on a sheet of paper and setting them on fire.
(This may have had something to do with what I was thinking about just before falling asleep)
I thanked them for the information and left the bathroom after a couple more moments. When I exited, I somehow ended up on another street. I bid an awkward goodbye to the employee and went on my way. Though I knew now that they knew about my real name and would definitely try to kill me if they got the chance. I began to do some research on this serial killer company, then decided it would be a better idea to get home first. By now I've walked all the way to the end of this street, where it intersected with a road filled with cars. I called my mom to ask her to pick me up. Strangely enough, she immediately responded and I saw her car waiting and ready right in front of me. She was saying something about me going missing, which didn't make sense since I was in school and wasn't supposed to be home yet anyway. Suspicious, I decided to avoid this probably-imposter and turned right again. In the sea of cars and strangers, I saw the employee from before, sitting in a car with a woman who I assume was supposed to be his wife. They were both smiling uncomfortably widely and waving. I knew they saw me and they knew I saw them. I walked a little faster. Things weren't going well. My friends were in class, my mom was nowhere to be found, and a company dedicated to killing people named Amy was on my tail. This isn't the best way to spend a school day.
Luckily or unluckily, I woke up shortly after seeing the employee in the car. Maybe I should stop drinking so much water before bed.

The Writer, the Grave Robber, and the Unicorn

This dream could actually make a pretty good book if I ever have the motivation to write it. Also at the end, I'm going to be adding some things to make it a better story, so some things in this blog were not part of my original dream.

A while back, a person going by the alias of "The Writer" sent out copies of a book to certain Readers in order to test them. For what exactly, no one knows, but it seems that Clover and I were the only two to fully pass the test. I kind of messed up on the final page because we were supposed to tear things out by perforated lines. I love perforated lines so I just tore everything out. However, this mistake didn't land me any further than second place and I was glad that I would be doing this activity with Clover.
As Clover and I entered my house, the Writer showed up out of nowhere to congratulate us on passing the first test. He asked us for our books. I handed mine over since Clover's was somewhere else. He flipped to the last page, made a face (bc I made a huge mess on the last page) and took out a couple strips of paper and gave it back to us. He told us that these pieces hold the clues to our next task. Then he disappeared.
We were a little confused as to how the Writer just teleported into and out of my house, but we decided to read over the papers anyway. After a couple minutes of arranging and rearranging, we figured out the message.
The Grave Robber will come to my house tonight to look for something. He is dangerous. We must take measures to live through the night.
Now, in my dream, we had a grave right in front of the house (for some reason). I didn't think the Grave Robber would come into the house if he saw that the grave was right there. So when night came, we stayed in my room and listened for any signs of an intrusion. Soon we could hear the clanking of tools and the dirt being moved at the grave in front of my house.
Clover asked, "What should we do?"
"Maybe if we stay quiet and don't give away our position, the Grave Robber will take what he's looking for and leave," I replied.
We decided that would be the best course of action, so we sat quietly in my room until the sounds of work had stopped. Eventually, we fell asleep.
The next morning, we went to check the grave. The Grave Robber did a very good job of cleaning up his work. The grass was put neatly back into place and, if you didn't look closely, there were no signs that the grave had been disturbed at all.
On the gravestone, there was a note. I took it and read it to Clover.
It basically said, "Thanks for not disturbing my work. Most people are so overprotective of the graves of their dead relatives and try to attack me. By the way, the Writer asked me to give you your final task. Check the next page. --The Grave Robber"
We looked at the other note. It definitely came from the Writer. It said:
Congratulations on surviving the night. Your third and final task will not be so simple. You must find a book. Not just any book. It is a Danish children's book about unicorns. Inside you will find this page (and here a picture of the page we needed to find was included). Read it and you will be free of the Reader's Curse.
We had a lot of questions. Reader's Curse? It didn't feel like we were cursed at all. It's only been a couple of days, what could have happened? And what if we don't find the book? What if we only find one copy and the page only works for one person? Who even is the Writer???
We decided to head downtown to check our public library. That was our best shot of finding a Danish children's book. As we walked, we somehow also wrote a letter and mailed it to the Writer, asking him all of the questions we just had. However, as soon as we mailed the letter, I was transported to a very strange place.
It looked like a mall, but I knew that this was not the mall we had in our town. There were almost no open shops, and the ones that were opened had no people inside. The "people" outside the shops were also very strange. They looked like humans from afar, but once I get closer, I could see that they were large clumps of shadow wandering the mall aimlessly. I soon spotted someone who looked more or less like a normal person and walked over to them. I asked them if they knew where this was and how to leave.
She seemed surprised. It turns out that she was also a Reader who was sent to this pocket dimension for reasons unknown to her. She told me that she had been looking for the book ever since she got here and she has had no luck. She was beginning to lose hope until I approached her.
"So how do we escape?" I asked her.
"The Unicorn," she replied.
"Unicorn?"
"There's a unicorn within the mall, hiding under the guise of a human. They are the only one capable of opening the doors of the mall. But the human form of the Unicorn has been corrupted by the negative energy prevalent throughout the mall, so they refuse to help me leave. The last time I asked, they turned violent, so I'm afraid to go again. I believe the Unicorn is still untouched by this energy, so they may still be able to help us. However, the human won't transform into the Unicorn on their own. We have to force the transformation."
"How do we do that?"
"Hold out your hand to the Unicorn and imagine them transforming. As a Reader, we have more control over our surroundings than the other beings in this realm. Right now, forcing a transformation may be the only way for us to summon the Unicorn's true form."
"Alright. What do I need to do?"
The plan was for me to approach the human Unicorn and strike up a casual conversation. Without their magic, the Unicorn won't know that I'm also a Reader. I need to trick them into trusting me and moving outside the direct influence of the source of the negative energy, which comes from a large crystal hovering at the center of the mall. Then I would force a transformation and ask the Unicorn to free us. The other Reader will be keeping an eye on me should things get out of hand. With the plan rehearsed and my new found magic at the ready, I set out to look for the Unicorn.
I saw them sitting alone at a bench in one of the mall hallways. I went up and started talking to them. Somehow, I managed to get onto the topic of the Writer and his Readers. The Unicorn told me that there was a Reader in the mall with us and that she alone could force him to transform into his true form. Taking this chance, I asked him how she did it.
"She just holds up her hand and this white ball of energy appears," the Unicorn explained. "She shoots it at me and I change."
"So like this?" I asked, holding up my hand and imagining them turning into a unicorn. A bright light suddenly appeared in my hand.
"What are you-" but before they could finish, I shot the ball of energy at the Unicorn. There was a blinding flash. When it dissipated, a regal white unicorn was standing before me.
"Unicorn! We need your help," I began. "My friend and I are both Readers who were sent to this weird dimension by the Writer. We--"
At the mention of the Writer, the Unicorn bolted away from us. They galloped straight towards the center of the mall.
The other Reader ran up to me. "This is bad," they said. "We need a new plan."
We eventually did figure out another plan. After the Unicorn ran into the crystal, they too were corrupted by the energy. However, part of their unicorn personality remained unchanged. They still cared about the well-being of their friends, only now, their "friends" were the other shadow beings in the mall.
For some reason, there was this huge swing-like contraption at the entrance of the mall. We were going to tie one of the shadow beings to the end of that contraption and swing them toward the door. The impact won't kill it, but we're counting on the fact that the Unicorn doesn't know that. My job was to lure the Unicorn to the entrance, then swing myself toward the door as well. We hoped that seeing the shadow being about to hit the door would cause the Unicorn to open the door in order to save it. That's when we'll make our escape.
On the day of the escape, everything was going according to plan. I was running towards the entrance with the Unicorn in tow. The other reader had the swing prepared. I quickly strapped myself in and swung toward the entrance. Seeing this, the Unicorn opened the gates to let the shadow being through. I landed outside the mall in the sunlight. The shadow creature quickly evaporated. That's when I noticed that the Unicorn had turned their attention to the other Reader. She was struggling to get herself strapped in (I have no idea why we have to swing out, but I guess she wouldn't have made it if she ran) and the Unicorn closed the doors. Through the glass, I could see her give me a smile before the link to this dimension was completely severed.
After that whole mess, I decided to go look for Clover. I found her in the library holding a book. She immediately came over to me when she saw me. She told me that she had found the book and accidentally skimmed over the page when she was flipping through it. This caused her to break the Reader's Curse before I did.
"I don't know if it'll work again, but it's worth a try, right?" She said, handing the book to me.
I opened it to the bookmarked page and stared at it for a few moments. Nothing happened.
"Did that work?" I asked Clover.
Clover frowned. "I don't think so. When I looked at it, there were majestic lights everywhere and I felt... I dunno, different afterward."
"Well heck," I replied.
Just then, muffled footsteps came in our direction. We turned to see the Writer standing over us.
"Congratulations, dear Readers. You've broken your curse."
I stood up and looked at him, annoyed. "One of us did," I said, gesturing at Clover. "You didn't seem to want me to succeed. Still salty that I ripped up the last page of your book?"
The Writer gave a forced smile. "No. Your curse has been broken, just in a different way."
"How?"
"You escaped the Unicorn, did you not?"
"Yes?"
"Then you broke your curse."
"What, running away from a unicorn broke my curse?"
"That's a rather crude way of putting it, but, yes."
Excuse you. I thought.
"Okay, but what was the point of all this? Exactly none of this adventure made any sense," I pressed.
"Wouldn't you like to know?" The Writer replied, a mysterious smile on his face. He was starting to disappear. "You're a writer as well, are you not? Don't tell me you've never put your characters into strange situations just to see what they would do."
Characters?
"Actually, I don't think I have," I replied, trying to pry an explanation from him. The Writer simply sighed and shook his head, still smiling, before disappearing completely.
"What the fuck was that?" Clover said after a pause.
"No idea. Let's just go get some waffles," I replied.
"Sounds good to me."

So, that was a thing.
Towards the end of my escape from the Unicorn is when I started just making things up to add to the story. I actually woke up right after I left the mall so I couldn't tell what happened to the other Reader. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this really fuckin weird dream as much as I did when I was having it.
Until next time, dear Reader.

~Jay

What's keeping us alive right meow

~ClovJay

*screaming*

We're playing Scream Go and it's great

ah

I Accidentally Kill a Bunch of Snake Babies

I was sitting at some sort of bar in ancient China. Don't ask why, dreams are weird. There was apparently some sort of monster/demon thing that was attacking the town and everyone had to stay indoors because it was a hurricane monster/demon. So we just kinda chilled in that bar while the creature was destroying buildings right outside. There was a sword casually lying on the table. After a few moments I decided that enough was enough and I was going to confront the creature. I grabbed the sword (which was actually pretty rusty) and signaled for my partner to join me. However, he didn't want to do shit, so I was like "Motherfucker, I don't give a shit what you want to do we are going to fight this thing whether you like it or not." and I literally dragged him from his chair and out of the bar.
When we went outside there was a large pine tree standing right in front of us. The ground was littered with pine needles and bits of pinecones. I was barefoot for some reason, so I was like "fuck that" and I levitated. Suddenly there was a strong breeze and I had to hold onto a branch for support. I looked to my right, where the breeze was coming from, and I noticed a white van sending mini tornadoes in my direction. There was also a bus parked between me and the van, which was lifted by the tornado and came crashing towards us. I grabbed my partner and we got out of the way. The bus hit a car right behind us. I flew up higher to get a better look at what was attacking us, but I couldn't see anything inside the van. Another tornado came and hit me directly, but it seemed to be weaker this time because I didn't shift from my spot at all. I started using my magic to send the tornadoes back.
"I don't think this is affecting them at all!" Someone, probably my partner, said. "It's like they're psiioniic!"
Now I don't know what that Homestuck reference meant, but I did know that the tornadoes weren't hitting the van when I sent them back, they just kind of got out of the way. I got fed up with trying to send the tornadoes back after a couple of attempts so I just went "fuck this shit" and levitated the van and crashed it into the pine tree.
When we landed to inspect the damage, I saw that the van was not the cause of the tornadoes. Inside the van were a nest of giant California kingsnake eggs. Some of them were already hatched, but others were cracked from the impact. Well fuck. I thought, as others came to investigate the noise.
"They're eggs." Someone said unhelpfully.
"Yeah you could've warned me about that." I replied. This was apparently one of my students, because I teach biology now.
"You said to 'never share observations or inferences if others are using their own qualitative data'." The student quoted.
"This isn't a fucking science experiment, E—!"
I used my magic to repair the broken eggs before the parents found out, then I turned to my left in time to see another one of my students (or was that my partner?) get bitten by the mother. I quickly put the snake to sleep and told E— to prevent the poison from spreading while I do... something else. However, before I could do that, I woke up.

So this was pretty random XD but at least I remembered it so it's worth writing down.

~Jay

Mini Dreamlog

This dream was rather incomplete. I don't remember the exact sequence of events and there were several large gaps in my memory. This may have been caused by my lack of sleep due to homework this week.

[EDIT] We just found this draft and we don't know who originally wrote this so we're just going to publish this with no context.

~ClovJay

Eyyyyy

Clover and I are hanging out randomly because cats XD

~Jay